Thursday, November 05, 2026

Jahaan pe basera ho, savera wahin hai...

There is something about Gulzar's poetry that reaches me like no one else does. I discovered this song recently -- and it was very hard to miss once I heard it.
He has beautifully captured the journey of growing up in this one song, as if the protagonist is growing up as the track progresses.
The poet begins by trying to find home wherever there is beauty, and ends with finding beauty at the place you call home.
The transition from "jahaan pe sawera ho, basera wahin hai" to "jahaan pe basera ho, sawera wahin hai" is just beautiful.
I guess we have all been in both these phases of life at some or the other point, but it is very hard to say when the transition happened. Perhaps it happens, all of a sudden, just like this song...



Wednesday, October 28, 2026

AI Just Rewrote the Textbooks. Now What?

The foundations of computational complexity theory were just shaken.

Recent algorithmic breakthroughs generated by frontier AI models have shattered long-standing mathematical assumptions. Specifically, research models from Anthropic and OpenAI have concurrently refuted the Exponential Time Hypothesis (ETH), alongside the 3SUM and All-Pairs Shortest Paths (APSP) conjectures.

These are extraordinary, textbook-rewriting developments. However, concluding that decades of research built around these conjectures was pointless fundamentally misunderstands what that research actually proved -- and what makes theoretical inquiry valuable.

Many hardness results in computational complexity are framed as conditional implications:

“If problem A cannot be solved this quickly, then neither can problem B.”

The proof constructs a translation from A to B, carefully controlling how much the problem instance grows via this translation. We call this a reduction. A sufficiently fast algorithm for B would then give a sufficiently fast algorithm for A.

The hardness of A is a provisional assumption. The reduction itself is a proven, permanent mathematical fact.

Much of modern cryptography follows this exact same pattern. An efficient attack on a cryptographic scheme would yield an efficient algorithm for an underlying mathematical problem. The security conclusion depends on that problem being hard; the proof establishes the unbreakable connection between them.

When the assumption falls, something substantial is lost. We can no longer use it to justify a claimed computational barrier. But the reduction remains entirely correct. The relationship between the problems survives.

In fact, those very relationships are what allow an algorithmic breakthrough to spread from one problem to dozens of others. The new 3SUM and APSP work explicitly exploits previously known reductions to unlock further consequences. Mathematics developed to map hardness is the exact tool we need to exploit unexpected easiness.

There is a vital lesson here for how the scientific community communicates results.

Moving forward, we should explicitly state the exact mathematical relationship we actually prove, detailing its quantitative bounds. The conjecture-based hardness conclusion should follow strictly as a secondary corollary.

For a simple illustration, a sparse 3-SAT instance with n variables and a proportional number of constraints can be translated into a vertex-cover problem on a graph with a proportional number of vertices. That rigid control over size is what allows us to relate the running times. This translation remains deeply meaningful and potentially useful in a completely different context, regardless of whether ETH stands or falls.

Researchers often already state their results this way. We should give those relationships more importance, especially when explaining our work beyond our immediate community.

Fine-grained complexity gave researchers a reason to hunt for unusually economical (or fine-grained, as we like to call them) reductions. That exploration produced techniques and connections that might otherwise have remained undiscovered. A conjecture can be false and still have been a useful question to investigate. Its eventual refutation does not, by itself, make investigating it unreasonable.

This highlights a deeper concern regarding AI in pure research -- a vulnerability being highlighted by many mathematicians, but one that the broader community frequently misses.

If an AI system had simply supplied the final answer before this decades-long exploration began, which intermediate discoveries would we still have made? Which foundational questions would we have never thought to ask?

We cannot know. Earlier answers can open new directions, and AI can help explore them. But there is a distinct risk in treating a finished statement and proof as the absolute end of an inquiry. We may move on before discovering what else the question had to teach us. Even a correct proof can arrive far too early -- long before we have fully explored the surrounding landscape of ideas.

That possibility deserves serious attention as we decide how to integrate these systems into academic research. We must explicitly value the deep understanding developed through exploration alongside the raw answers obtained.

And we must remain curious, even when the answers surprise us.

Stay hungry. Stay foolish. Even if AI is smarter than you.

Beyond all this sometimes unwanted light, there will still be that familiar darkness: things we do not understand, questions we have not learned to ask, and room to find meaning for ourselves.

Theoretical Computer Science in an Era of Proof Abundance

In my previous article, “How AI-Powered Research Might End an Era of Human Ego,” I wrote about the unease of watching artificial intelligence dismantle traditional benchmarks of human intellectual supremacy.

For decades, theoretical computer science operated under an implicit scarcity model. Important proofs were rare, difficult to produce, and usually represented years of sustained human effort. The difficulty of producing a paper acted as a natural filter on how many papers entered the scientific ecosystem.

As Terence Tao has recently put it, we are moving from an era of proof scarcity to one of proof abundance.

We are approaching a world in which AI systems can resolve difficult open problems and generate dense, valid mathematical arguments at a scale humans cannot match. The traditional bottleneck is therefore shifting. It may soon no longer be the generation of proofs, but their verification, digestion, and explanation.

If an algorithm produces ten thousand pages of correct proofs overnight, we have obtained ten thousand pages of mathematical truth. But we have not necessarily created ten thousand pages of shared scientific knowledge.

Science progresses only when a competent community can understand what has been established, determine that it is correct, recognize why it matters, and connect it to the rest of human knowledge. In an era of proof abundance, we can no longer measure progress merely by how many results have been written down. We must increasingly measure it by what the scientific community has meaningfully understood and accepted.

Our truly scarce resource will be human attention.

To prevent theoretical computer science from collapsing into a sea of technically correct but collectively undigested text, we need to move from a culture of maximum production to a culture of intellectual ownership and reciprocal responsibility.

I propose the following framework.
1. Strict Submission Caps

The policy: No researcher should be listed as an author on more than two submissions to any single edition of a designated flagship conference—for example, STOC, FOCS, SODA, CRYPTO, EUROCRYPT, ASIACRYPT.

The cap should count submissions, not acceptances.

The rationale: Every submission asks a scientific community to spend the only scarce resource -- expert attention evaluating it. The relevant resource is therefore consumed before the paper is accepted or rejected.

A per-venue cap protects precisely this resource. Someone may legitimately work in several different communities and submit one paper to each of them. What should no longer be possible is for one researcher to place six, eight, or ten papers before the same program committee at the same deadline.

The cap forces a real choice. Before seeing which papers will be accepted, researchers must decide which one or two results are important enough to ask that particular community to evaluate.

AI may soon allow an individual researcher to produce technical material at something approaching the rate of a present-day research group. Our submission rules cannot continue to assume that generating a polished manuscript is itself evidence of sustained human investment.

This is not a restriction on how much anyone may think, discover, or communicate. It is a restriction on how much of the community’s limited reviewing capacity any one individual may demand.
2. The Reciprocity of Scientific Attention

The policy: Researchers who regularly ask the community to evaluate their work must accept a comparable responsibility to digest, verify, review, and explain the work of others.

Conferences, universities, and funding bodies should recognize serious reviewing, verification, exposition, as central scientific contributions—not as invisible academic service. Maybe reviewers, who provide useful advice can be listed as co-authors (after all, here we have someone spending the most scarce resource -- human attention)

The rationale: In a healthy research culture, a competent researcher should spend at least as much serious intellectual time with the work of others as writing and promoting their own work.

Science cannot function if everyone wants to be an author and no one wants to be a reader.

Every paper creates work. Someone must check the proof, compare it with previous results, understand its limitations, extract its central ideas, and explain those ideas to others. As proof generation becomes easier, this work becomes more—not less—important.

In the era of proof abundance, identifying which results are correct, important, useful, or genuinely new may be as valuable as producing another proof.

Submission caps are not merely a mechanism for reducing volume. They create time and incentives for researchers to participate in the collective understanding of their discipline.
3. The Practical Dissolution of Courtesy Authorship

The policy: Senior researchers do not need to place their names on a student’s paper unless they made a substantial intellectual contribution to the result.

Advising, encouraging, providing funding, or offering general feedback does not automatically justify authorship. Professors can—and should—help students without necessarily becoming coauthors.

The rationale: Under a strict submission cap, courtesy authorship becomes costly and will therefore largely regulate itself. A senior researcher can no longer attach their name to many papers merely for prestige, institutional credit, or funding purposes without spending their own scarce submission opportunities.

This would help prevent established researchers from accumulating disproportionate ownership of work primarily done by students or junior collaborators.

It would also give emerging researchers a less obstructed opportunity to speak in their own names, stake their own claims, and be evaluated on the merits of their work.



4. The Proof-of-Understanding Lecture

The policy: At the time of submission, every paper must be accompanied by a public, long-form digital-whiteboard lecture, normally lasting one to two hours.

This should not be a polished slide presentation that can be AI-generated or a narration of prepared script. The presenter should begin with a blank whiteboard and develop the definitions, examples, diagrams, equations, and proof arguments by hand on a tablet or whiteboard while speaking.

If several authors made distinct technical contributions, they may divide the presentation appropriately. Each named author must be willing to answer questions about the contribution for which they claim credit, and at least one author must be able to explain the entire logical structure of the result.

Reviewers should also have the option of requesting a live online technical discussion with the authors. In such a Zoom call, reviewers could ask unannounced questions, request that a delicate step be reconstructed, ask why a particular assumption is necessary, or explore what happens when the argument is modified.

The rationale: A polished paper is no longer reliable evidence that its nominal authors understand what appears under their names. Nor is a polished slide presentation sufficient: AI can already generate slides, scripts, diagrams, and narration.

A handwritten lecture developed in real time creates a much stronger test. Writing mathematics while explaining it requires the presenter to handle the notation, reconstruct the logical dependencies, and communicate the intermediate reasoning that polished prose can hide.

The subsequent possibility of unscripted questioning makes it considerably harder to simulate understanding merely by memorizing or reading AI-generated material.

No method can prove that every idea originated entirely inside a human mind, and we don't need to try to do this. That is not the appropriate standard. AI assistance should be permitted and disclosed.

The relevant standard has to become human intellectual ownership: identifiable human authors must have absorbed the result sufficiently to reconstruct it, explain its central ideas, answer technical questions, and accept responsibility for its correctness.

Reasonable accommodations should, of course, be available. The requirement is command of the math, not theatrical performance, accent, or fluency under time pressure.
5. The Video—not the Paper—as the Scientific Timestamp

The policy: Posting a manuscript or preprint, including on arXiv, should not establish recognized scientific priority.

The public posting time of the qualifying handwritten lecture—released when the corresponding paper is formally submitted—should be the provisional scientific timestamp of the result.

The video (which is linked to the peer-reviewed submission), not the paper, is the timestamp.

That timestamp becomes certified when the result is validated through peer review and, when necessary, an oral discussion with the authors.

The rationale: If an ordinary arXiv upload continues to establish priority, submission caps will be easy to circumvent without technically being violated.

Researchers could generate and upload large inventories of AI-assisted papers, associate their names with dozens of results, and then submit those papers gradually over subsequent years. The reviewing pipeline would be limited, but the priority and prestige pipeline would remain unlimited.

An arXiv upload may still communicate an argument, invite criticism, and establish the historical fact that a document was publicly available on a certain date. But it should not indefinitely reserve scientific territory.

To claim recognized priority, researchers should have to do three things:

Spend one of their scarce submission opportunities.
Publicly explain the result through a handwritten technical lecture.
Remain available to answer expert questions about it.



This forces researchers to decide which results they are genuinely prepared to understand, defend, and ask the scientific community to certify.

If two independent groups submit correct solutions to the same venue during the same submission cycle and both provide qualifying explanatory lectures, both papers should normally be accepted. One should not be rejected merely because the other group posted its video a few hours or days earlier.

In a world where AI performs much of the technical labor, associating one’s human name with a mathematical truth is already a significant privilege. We should not insist on monopolizing that truth merely because we reached the upload button marginally earlier.
Curation Over Production

This framework is deliberately restrictive. But the alternative may be the eventual collapse of human peer review and a rapid transition from AI for science to science by AI, reviewed by AI, and intelligible only to AI.

The purpose is not to preserve a fictional world of AI-free research. That world is disappearing.

The purpose is to preserve a human scientific community. The solution isn't perfect, but seems reasonable to me.

Researchers should not have an unlimited claim on the community’s scarce attention merely because AI has given them an effectively unlimited capacity to produce manuscripts. The right to ask others to understand our work must be accompanied by a willingness to understand theirs. The right to claim a discovery must be accompanied by a willingness to explain and defend it.

AI may give us answers. But it remains a human responsibility to decide which answers matter—and to ensure that they mean something to the rest of us.

Disclosure: The central arguments and policy proposals in this article are mine written over a few days, and collects my thoughts over the last few weeks. Gemini was used to help edit and reorganize the text.

How AI powered research might end an era of human ego

Over the past few weeks, I have been extremely disturbed by the progress that AI has made, and how it is going to affect humanity, and whether there is anything positive that we can take away from it. I have a lot of unanswered questions, but in the following, I try to suggest the most optimistic thoughts.

I have had in the last few weeks regarding AI being better than humans at scientific discovery. How AI powered research will end an era of human ego. For the last 500 years, the definition of scientific progress has been very tightly connected to the human ego. We have associated every development with the developer. We built massive legal, academic, and economic structures, patents, publications, awards designed to answer a single question -- which individual gets credit for a certain discovery, who do we associate a discovery to. But as artificial intelligence starts to be better than all humans at solving research problems, humanity is facing an existential crisis. If a machine makes the breakthrough, who owns the truth?

The answer to this dilemma should force us to look backward, not forward. When viewed through the deep lens of history, our obsession with individual human attribution is not eternal -- it is only a 500 year old phenomenon. By removing the human name from the discovery, AI is perhaps not breaking science -- it is returning it to its ancient roots.

Before the Renaissance, the idea that a human "owned" an idea or a discovery was alien. The Archimedes Principle, the Kepler's laws, the Pythagorean theorem, all got their names hundreds of years after they were discovered, and some of these names were only chosen via anecdotal evidence which wasn't necessarily accurate. Since humans decided to attribute humans to discoveries, we forced these names to "correct history". Before that, for thousands of years, knowledge was perhaps viewed as a pre-existing fabric created by nature. Humans did not create ideas; they were merely granted the privilege of finding them.When a breakthrough occurred, gratitude was perhaps directed upward to God, or outward to the community, not inward to the self.

Knowledge belonged to the collective heritage of humanity. There were no patents, no copyrights, and no academic tenure tracks. The value of a discovery was measured solely by its utility: Did the new crop rotation system prevent famine? Did the herbal remedy cure the fever? The name of the peasant or monk who first noticed the pattern was irrelevant to history, lost to time because it simply didn’t matter.This collective, humble view of knowledge changed somewhere between the 15th and 17th centuries.

The shift was driven by a storm of cultural, economic, and technological shifts. For 500 years, this system has worked spectacularly. The promise of wealth, fame, and historical legacy motivated generations of humans to push the boundaries of knowledge. But it also hardcoded a dangerous assumption into our culture: that science cannot happen without human ego. Arguably, perhaps science has progressed better than it would have if we hadn't associated human ego to it.

Today, artificial intelligence is shattering that assumption. AI is making scientific breakthroughs at a pace no human can match. The source of these discoveries is the human data we have created over centuries, but often it is impossible to trace, what led to a particular discovery. Just like a Ramanujan had some divine power whisper an answer in his sleep, modern mathematicians often cannot explain how the AI arrived at its conclusion. In future, it will be even more so. The AI simply presents the truth. Once again, humans find themselves acting not as the grand creators of knowledge, but as the humble communicators of knowledge they did not create themselves.

AI has no ego. It provides us breakthrough results on a platter. It will never demand a higher salary, sue for patent infringement, or step onto a stage to accept a Nobel Prize. It processes the sum total of human data, spots the hidden patterns, and hands the answers back to the collective.

The world has come a full circle, perhaps. Our current anxiety surrounding AI discovery is not a technological problem; it is a cultural friction. We are trying to force a non-human, collective intelligence into a human-centric reward system built in the 1500s and that we have cherished for 500 years. Patent courts around the world are currently struggling with debates over whether an AI can be listed as an "inventor." Journals are asking whether AI can be listed as a co-author. We are panicking because our modern systems require a human name to function. So, we are trying to adapt to a system where a human communicating an AI generated solution is an "author".

But perhaps, we are missing a divine signal. The machine is offering us a liberation from this 500 year old practice. By removing the human ego from the center of discovery, AI allows us to end this 500-year-old detour. It invites us to return to an era where the validity of a truth is not dependent on the identity of its discoverer. We can stop asking who gets the credit, and start focusing entirely on how the discovery can serve the common good.

The difficulty, and this is a massive difficulty, is that we haven't gotten enough time to adapt to this change. We will have to learn and adapt to live in this new world very very quickly -- maybe within months. Perhaps, we should quickly revisit ancient texts and learn from our ancestors from the pre-1500 era.

Friday, September 27, 2019

Gullak = Good luck

Was humming this song "Aaja aaja dil nichoden.." from Kaminey, when it struck me that maybe the word gullak was derived from "good luck".

Checked it, and bingo..

Thursday, September 12, 2019

Conversations

Dad, Mom and Myra are having a walk..

Myra - Hum dono bahut funny hain..

Mom (confused) - Kaun dono?"

Myra - Papa aur Myra

Mom (feeling left out) - Aur main?

Myra - Aap to bas hum dono ko samjhaate rehte ho!


Indeed, hum dono bahut funny hain :D


-------------------

Mom is having a discussion with Myra about babies, and suddenly..

Mom - Papa ke tummy bahut big hai par us mein se baby nikalta hi nahi hai

Myra - Koi baat nahi, ek na ek din zaroor nikal jaayega


Now, that is some optimism  

Wednesday, July 24, 2019

The week of wrong results

It started with that dreadful World Cup semifinal.. How often do we have our top 3 batsmen gone for less than 10? How often do we have Dhoni staying almost till the end (with 30 off 15 required) and we still lose? How often is there a direct hit from that strange angle and that distance? The probability of all this happening simultaneously is probably 1/1000 if not less.. and NZ won with those kind of odds. This hurts so much because this Indian team is better than any other team we have ever had.

Federer's semifinal win against Nadal indicated that perhaps God could still redeem himself. And it felt like that until the 8-7, 40-15 in the 5th set. Then the worst happened. A combination of Federer's bad luck and Djoker's solid determination let that 5th set slip away when it was least expected. It would hurt much less if Federer wasn't the better player that entire match including all the 3 sets that he lost.. read the following on a blog, and couldn't agree more, at least at this point.

Could Federer be known MORE for the following stat in his career than ANY other? Should be?

8-7, 40-15?
After all, he was minutes removed from his 38th birthday, defeated red hot Nadal and extended a red hot Djokovic to five sets - and almost won No. 21. And these clowns are five and six years younger................
The wife tells me there is enough in life to worry about and none of this affects us in any way, so why bother. And, she is right. Yet, this loss still hurts and it is perhaps going to hurt for some more time. The only chance at redemption is by getting Federer to win US open (preferably by beating both Nadal and Djoker), and maybe Australian open too..

After all, one cannot deny that in terms of skill and beauty of the game, Federer is miles ahead of both, and while determination and attitude should be rewarded, there should be a limit to that reward.
*************************************
And as if this was not enough, Eng defeated NZ as a result of umpiring blunders and totally stupid rules. 

Some of Myra's gems

I was looking at the old pages of this blog and the many stupid posts that didn't get published, and the many other stupid posts that got published and then removed. It was a lot of fun and there is no reason to stop. As much as I have wanted to all these years, it seems very unlikely that I will be able to revive this blog because writing seems like a lot of effort, and publishing seems even more so. Every few days, I feel like writing something, and then once that moment is gone, the thoughts become so hazy that it feels better left unsaid. But, it is worth trying..

What better than recalling some of Myra's gems. She is 3 right now, but most of these are from 6 months to a year ago..

**********

We usually stop her from this or that telling her that she can do this when she grows old enough. And one day, when she was playing in the park, she wanted me to join her on one of the slides. I would normally oblige but there were other kids, and so I told her it is meant for kids, and I cannot join. So, she goes "Jab aap chhote ho jaoge, tab aap mere saath jhoole pe chadhna" :)..

Indeed, how is she supposed to know how our appearance changes with time

***********

I noticed crayon marks on one of the walls and asked her why she did that and remarked that she has been a bad girl. Her reply, "Nahi papa, main bad girl nahi hoon. Ye maine kal kiya tha, main kal bad girl thi. Aaj to bad girl nahi hoon"

***********

Her grandpa often tells her, "Myra ke paas to itne saare toys hain, kabhi Papa le aate hain, kabhi tauji, kabhi chachu.. teri to mauj hai"..

And as if she was waiting for a comeback and found her opportunity one day. She looks at dadu's drawer and says "Dadu, aapke paas to kitni saari dawai hain.. teri to mauj hai"..


Rest for the next post -- hopefully with a shorter time gap

Monday, December 26, 2011

A superb exchange of words from Mirza Ghalib

"Ghalib: Aapne humaare bartan kya alahida kar liye hain


Ghalib's wife: Nahi, humne apne bartan alahida kar liye hain.... Bura na maaniyega, apne imaan ke liye darti hoon.


G: Haan Begum, darta wahi hai jiske paas poonji ho. Tumhaare paas imaan hai, isliye darti ho. Humaare paas to bas ye imaan waali hai :D


GW: Aap khuda ki zaat se is tarah munkir kyun hain


G: Tauba karo, khuda se munkir kahaan... fark sirf itna hai, ki main uske saamne do-zaano ho kar gidgidaata nahi.. bachchon ko ma-baap se is tarah gidgida kar bheekh maangte dekha hai, jaise tum maangti ho? Mere taalluqaat khuda ke saath tum se zyaada betaqalluf hain.


GW: Isiliye wo aapki sunte nahi hain.


G: Shaayari nahi samajhte honge. Wo bhi meri :D"


Glad to know that at least someone has a similar opinion. :)

Friday, September 23, 2011

It seems a little funny to teach a class of 20 final year bachelor students in CS (in one of the best univs around) of which not one can compute the sum of the geometric series 1/4 + 1/16 + 1/64 ...

And the students are in general not dumb... it is just that the education leaves out strange voids..

No matter how much ridiculous JEE gets, it seems like having such an exam before you begin college is necessary to build a decent foundation..

PS: If only they'd eliminate chemistry, it'd be perfect :P

Monday, September 12, 2011

...

I dreamt tonight of visiting the hometown of a friend who recently left this country and returned to India for good. I can' remember the context, but I remember this remark he made, "Badi sasti jagah hai ye, insaan ki rooh bhi yahaan das rupaye kilo bikti hai"

Quite a strange statement, isn't it? Any interpretations, anyone?

Friday, September 09, 2011

Indifference(?)


Safar to kat jaayega yun hi chalte chalte, 
Manzil tak kisi yaar ka saath ho ki na ho


Mauka mile to kar sheh, aur dekh tamasha
Zara dil to dehel jaaye dushman ka, maat ho ki na ho

Sookhe mein baadal ko dekh zara khush to ho le
Kaun jaane phir barsaat ho ki na ho

Jab bhi mile, tujhe waqt hi ki fiqr thi
Kabhi to be-parwaah mil, raat ho ki na ho

Afsaane ban hi jaayenge, khwaab saj hi jaayenge
Haqeeqat mein mulaqaat ho ki na ho

Yaad use bhi kabhi kabhi to aati hogi meri
Uske dil mein mujh se jazbaat hon ki na hon


Safar to kat jaayega yun hi chalte chalte, 
Manzil tak kisi yaar ka saath ho ki na ho

-An attempt at random tukbandi




Saturday, August 06, 2011

Thought of the day..

Can abundance of anything (time, money, or even love) be anywhere close to being as romantic as the scarcity of it..?

A follow-up to this post by vibhav..

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

:D

Received this message just now, by a friend.

Sounds like you!!


 
 
 
 

via Urban Word of the Day on 4/20/11

The pleasant "high" feeling one acquires around close friends, often compared to being on some sort of drug. Accompanied by lots of laughing, stupidity, excitement, good conversation, and loud obnoxiousness, ie the act of getting "high" off another's good friendship vibes.

Often considered a replacement for drugs and alcohol, though not heavily supported.
1. "Let's hotbox this room with our friendship!"
2. "Watch the dosage on THAT friendship, Carlos..."
3. "Lets get friend high tonight"

Feels good :)

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Moving On...

 याद हैं मुझे वो गुज़रा ज़माना

रोज़ तेरी ज़रा ज़रा सी बात याद किया करते थे,
और मुस्कुरा देते थे, 
ज़रा ज़रा संभल संभल के मोहब्बत की थी, 
तेरी हर भूल को सही साबित करने को 
कोई वजह ढूंढ लिया करते थे..
झूठ खुद से जाने कितनी बार कहा था, मगर..
जिस झूठ से कुछ भला हो वो कहाँ बुरा है,
यही सोच के खुद को समझाया करते थे | 
कुछ जोश था, कुछ तड़प, कुछ बेचैनी थी उन मासूम पलों में 
मज़े में थी, मगर फिर भी, ज़िन्दगी मुश्किल हो चली थी 

पिछले कुछ दिनों में,

रोज़ तुझे ज़रा ज़रा सा भुलाया है,
ज़रा ज़रा सी तुझ से नफरत की है
तुझे हर कदम पे इलज़ाम देने को
कुछ न कुछ वजह ढूंढ ली है
जानते हैं की ये नफरत, ये इलज़ाम सब झूठ ही है, मगर
वो झूठ जिस से कुछ भला हो, वो कहाँ बुरा है
यही सोच के खुद को तसल्ली दी है |
नजाने कैसी अजब सी शान्ति है, इस झूठे खेल में
मज़े में हो न हो, ज़िन्दगी मगर अब आसान हो चली है |

किसी को पीछे छोड़ना, कहीं से आगे बढ़ना, शायद अब आसान हो चला है....


Thursday, April 14, 2011

Pitfall

"There is a pit there in front" - a friend warns you. You hesitate for a moment but then go on.. You keep moving on despite the warning calls and attempts to pull you back. Then, suddenly there is a thud, and down you fall right into the pit. With much struggle and perhaps a little help, you manage to come out and then declare with a tone of pride as if to hide your guilt, "Haan, wahaan pe khaayi thi". Typical human behaviour, right?

After having resisted on all my three previous visits to Paris, today I decided to go and see the famous Mona Lisa in the Louvre Museum.. There are some things that are just destined to happen. Almost right at the entrance, and all through the museum, there are signboards with a copy/picture of the original painting and an arrow pointing to the direction where you can find it.. I followed these till I reached one where I couldn't find the arrow. And then I realized that there was not supposed to be an arrow there. Yes, this was THE painting. I couldn't believe what I saw. It is moments like these that make you realize how miraculously ordinary some things can be - You are told by reliable people that it is nothing compared to what the fuss is all about, and as a result you are not expecting anything great, but then when you actually see it, you remark, "Is that what the fuss is all about?"

What to say of the people who were taking pictures of the painting and also posing with the painting. Reminds me of the famous emperor's clothes story. I feel sorry for the other paintings in that museum, or for that matter anywhere in the world that have been made by great but maybe not so famous artists and that hardly get any attention. I guess perhaps things such as pictures too, like people, have a fortune of their own.

I am also tempted a little to actually try to read about the history to know why this particular painting by Leonardo da Vinci is so famous, when he has himself made so many others.. but then I feel like that is going to be another pitfall - so, definitely not two in a single day :)

Thursday, April 07, 2011

jo bhi milta hai kuchh din hi achchha lagta hai...


"तुम क्या बिछड़े भूल गए, रिश्तों की शराफत हम
जो भी मिलता है अब कुछ दिन ही अच्छा लगता है

मिलने जुलने वालों में तो सब अपने जैसे हैं 
जिससे अब तक मिले नहीं वो अक्सर अच्छा लगता है "

"नक्षा उठा के कोई नया शहर ढूंढिए
इस शहर में तो सब से मुलाक़ात हो गयी"

 Nida Fazli beautifully expresses the unstability of life...

Sunday, March 13, 2011

India are still going to win the world cup!!

Yes, I had waited for the Ind-SA match for at least a week .. Yes, I was shattered after the match and yes, I am disappointed even now but lets try to see the positives out of today's loss..


  • Indian bowling and fielding was finally much better. Yes, two dropped catches and one missed run out and a bad last over, but overall it was much better.
  • India now will not be regarded as favorites and will not have much pressure.
  • There is a high probability of India getting complacent in the knockout stages, if they hadn't lost any match before that.. 
  • Finally we know that our tremendous batting line-up can collapse too... even after a start like 267/1 after 40 overs.. perhaps the lesson learnt, as Dhoni said, is "You don't play for the crowd.. you play for the team"
  • Maybe Dhoni realizes that Kohli should be brought in sooner rather than later. No matter what the situation is.
  • Sachin is scoring against the biggies.. yoohoo!!
I still feel that we will lift the world cup... 

Thursday, February 03, 2011

Even escapism has stopped providing the refuge it used to. 

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

...

You know you have spent too much time abroad when during your visit to India, you enter a restaurant and, for a moment, wonder, "wow, yahaan par to sab desi hain" before you realize, "you are in India, dude" :D

Friday, January 07, 2011

Ashamed. And a little sad.

You grow up in a protected environment with education being the only thing expected from you and then just at the moment you should be finishing college and entering "life", you escape abroad .. and on top of it you do not believe in even reading newspapers.. and yet you tend to think you know as much about the world as you "need" to know... and then there is that moment which makes you realize how unaware you are about things that you "should" know..

I am visiting Microsoft Research Bangalore for a week, and though I have heard it several times that in our country the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer each day,  I guess a week in Bangalore showed me the truth of this much more than I had ever known..

As I landed at the guest house today where I have been put up for the week, I realized I didn't have change to pay the autowalla, and he didn't have change either.. I asked the watchman of the guest house, "Bhaiya, aap ke paas paanch sau ka change hai kya?". He begins to fumble with the coins from his wallet which is all he seemed to have. I realized the mistake I had made. He had mistaken me for having asked him for a change of five rupees. I didn't know what to do and wanted to step back, but somehow, out of momentum clarified that I was asking for a change for rupees five hundred. "Humaare paas kahaan se aayenge, sir", he said. And I guess I haven't felt so ashamed in ages. I said sorry. Twice. And then he said, "sorry". I didn't have anything more to say that could make up.

In a city where you see tonnes of people squandering thousands every day, and the prices of everything adjusted according to these people, a lot of people even with a reasonable honorable job must be struggling for mere survival, leave aside the unemployed.

I don't know what can be done. I don't know if we can do something. But I still want to  try to contribute towards changing this. At the moment, I don't know how...

Monday, November 22, 2010

The blog url...

...has been taken from the blogroll of Vik. I chose this because it reminds me of the person I think I was and the person I want to be, again... :)

Thursday, November 11, 2010

...

हर घड़ी, जब भी मौका मिले, नये दोस्त बनाते चलो
कौन जाने, किस दोस्ती में कब मंदी आ जाए

इंसानी रिश्ते इस दौर में कारोबार से हो चले हैं।

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Thought of the day...

The best conversations in life are those that do not end with a goodbye.....

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Khwaab.... zindagi....

Aaj aankh khuli
Ek bure khwaab ke dastak par
Sehem sa gaya tha main
Sochne laga
Najaane kya kahaani pal rahi thi
Zehen mein
Jiska ant itna bhayaanak tha
Suna hai bhor se pehle ke sapne
Yaad nahi raha karte
Shaayad ye sapna ussi
Raat ke sapnon se hi upja hai
Shukr hai aakhri tha, khatm hua

Zindagi jab bhi koi
Chot diya karti hai
Sehem sa jaata hoon main
Hisaab lagaane lagta hoon
Najaane kya kiya tha maine
Jiska parinaam aisa aaya hai
Suna hai pichhle janm ki baatein
Yaad nahi raha karti
Shaayad ye chot bhi unhi
Janmon ke karmon se hi upji hai
Shaayad... ye bhi aakhri ho...

Shaayad... 'raat ye bhi guzar jaayegi'

PS: As I write this, I am reminded of a couplet by Gulzar, "Jisse khoon nikle wo zakhm lagti hai, Warna har chot nazm lagti hai" :)

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

What do you do when...

...you live in a world which is full of people each with a fair intention and each having a proposal of a solution to a problem that none of them understand?

Sunday, September 12, 2010

IITs to offer MBBS

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/IITs-to-offer-medical-courses-have-foreign-faculty-students/articleshow/6531178.cms

Looking forward to a Bachelor/Master of "technology" in medicine degree being offered. :D

Thursday, September 02, 2010

Homeward bound

Lets go home and get:
-some breaths of fresh air
-a bit of strength
-some shelter
-a bit of sunshine
 -some peaceful sleep
-a bit....of life..

...enough to last a few more months..

Here I come..

Friday, August 27, 2010

...

Jab kabhi khud ko pareshaan paata hoon,
Teri bebasi pe halka sa taras aata hai khuda

Ya tu meri tarah kamzor hai, ya meri tarah nikamma...

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Love, romance, friendship, etc are an alien conspiracy against humans to prohibit them from working on stuff that is really important.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Random

Yesterday, while I was cooking dinner, this random Brazilian guy (he is about 25 yr old and lives in the same hostel) walked into the kitchen and started cooking his dinner. While cooking and later while eating and even after that, I had an almost two hour conversation with him. And, it is an extreme rarity for me to be talking for that long to anyone these days,.. especially with a non-Indian.. Here is a brief excerpt from our conversation... I was half confused half amused during this entire conversation...

(He is called BG, acronym for Brazilian guy, since I do not know his name...)

me: What do you do here?
BG: I study economy
 (yes, he said economy, not economics)
      Later, I plan to study physics and mathematics
me: So, are you doing your masters in economics?
BG: No, I just started my study here!
me: So, you are doing your bachelors?
BG: Yes, now you understand.
me: So, you plan to finish your bachelors in economics, and then move over to masters in math and physics??
BG: No. I will finish my bachelors in economics. Then I will finish my masters and then my doctoral studies in economics. After that I will study mathematics and then physics.
me (extremely confused): So you will then start again with the whole process in math and then in physics???
BG: Yes, now you understand.
me: But this will take quite long.
BG: Yes, but this is what I want to do. Even if it takes thirty years.
me: Do you have a planned profession after you finish your education?
me: So which university are you studying in?
BG: I am not enrolled in a university. Right now I am studying on my own and learning German. To get enrolled for bachelor studies in the university here, I need to know German.

--------
This set me wondering while i was continuing to talk to him, how much difference there is between how most of us think and how this guy thinks. Most of us just keep lamenting of the things we could not get, the things we will never get, and the things that we had in the past and do not have now. And here is a guy who is set to achieve something that he will perhaps never get and I still don't see him getting sad. He is chasing a dream that is beautiful to him and is satisfied with what he has and how things are going. Yes, you should have seen him dance and rejoice after he finished eating. It was absolutely delightful. He says, "I love eating. I dance and sing every day after eating. Thank you God. You are BIG. You gave me food."
Well, I also love eating. In fact eating and singing are two things because of which I get a few happy moments each day, no matter how difficult the day is. And this reminded me of how long it has been since I thanked God for the food we eat. It was all forgotten in primary school...

There were a lot of other things that this guy talked about but we leave that for some other time...

Have fun. Love life. May the independence day liberate you from your worst fears. Amen.

Monday, August 09, 2010

Aaj ka gyaan....

Every few days I repeat something like this...I do/say something utterly stupid that I immediately afterwards feel kind of guilty about for one of these reasons:
Either it is way too embarrassing for me (writing this post could turn out to be an example, or not) or it could have troubled/hurt someone. And then I hope  that people will forgive and/or forget. The funny part is that most of the times they do - which results in me forgetting and forgiving myself. Can you guess what is the consequence. The process is repeated just because it is forgotten by all. And it keeps on going this way until the day is reached when after having been subjected to this many times, a person can't take it any more. That is where a human bonding goes loose.

The lesson to be learnt is that even things well forgotten by people do get piled up somewhere in the memory.... and perhaps no one is friend enough to ignore everything all the time.

Friday, July 23, 2010

bakwaas...

Mausam kuchh aashiqaana sa hua jaata hai
Mizaaj kuchh shaayaraana sa hua jaata hai

Sochte hain ki likh dein do chaar nazm hum
Par kalam humaara kuchh begaana sa hua jaata hai

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Aaj ka gyaan..

When giving judgment about the fact that someone has changed, we often forget how much we have changed in the meanwhile and that the change we see is only relative to ourselves. We kind of assume ourselves to be an inertial frame of reference. What is especially noteworthy is that you have changed for the other person *exactly* as much as he for you..

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Monday, July 05, 2010

How things change..

I was just looking at the archives of Amit's blog and found the following comment written by me on this post...

"Yun chaand ko chhute sapnon ko,
duniya ka shikaar na banne do

Sapne se tumhaare duniya ka,
kad chhota hai ye yaad rakho

Chita aarzoo ki jalaane se pehle
Nishaan uske mitaane se pehle

Jo wo aarzoo chehre par laayi thi,
Ek baar us muskaan ko yaad karo :)"

It is just a bunch of random lines which will perhaps qualify as crap according to many but I love the optimism in what I wrote..

It was not so long ago and things haven't changed much since then in any evident way.. especially for an external observer.. yet, I don't see myself writing something like this today.. it will not come so naturally at least. It takes an effort to even be optimistic now.

Saturday, July 03, 2010

...

Bas kuchh taqalluf hi baaqi lagta hai
Zindagi to jaise kab ki ji chuke hain

Bachpan kaash thoda thoda karke mila hota mujhko

PS: I know I seem to be getting repetitive.. but can't help..

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Of internet/email and their absense..

"I have been a happy man ever since January 1, 1990, when I no longer had an email address. I'd used email since about 1975, and it seems to me that 15 years of email is plenty for one lifetime.
Email is a wonderful thing for people whose role in life is to be on top of things. But not for me; my role is to be on the bottom of things. What I do takes long hours of studying and uninterruptible concentration." - says Donald Knuth.

I admire you, Sir for that along with all the work you have done. It will take an effort but I think I do want to give such a life (sans internet/phone) a try, at least for a year or so. I so have a feeling it will be worth it... lets see when/if I manage to give myself an opportunity...

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Chaos vs Order

Blowing horns loudly, shouting on the streets, jamming the traffic and thereby stopping all traffic - this is how these people celebrate winning of a football match. And this is a place where while watching a match in a public place all you get to see (see, not hear mind you) if their national heroes are doing well is just silent clapping of the hands.

Why this pretense of order all around when what you want is chaos, too, just like me?

There is too much order in this place. I want more (regular) chaos.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Aaj ka gyaan...

Have a desire either to enjoy the journey or to enjoy the destination. Wanting to enjoy them both is so so damn greedy..

...

The qualities that you like to advertise as your biggest strengths are more often than not your biggest weaknesses.
-Tolerance is a weakness
-Honesty is a weakness
-Patience, too, is a weakness.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

...

I wrote the following about a year ago..

"I want

Longing to go
Memories to stay

Hope to go
Love to stay"

It might be a little premature to say this, but it seems I am succeeding..

Do these sets ever meet?

{Childhood, love, heart, innocence, observation without judgment, etc}

{Adulthood, logic, mind, experience, judgment without observation, etc}

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Life/Zindagi

It is amazing how very frequently this word is uttered by almost everyone. In every day conversations, in songs, in poetry, in status messages, in blogs, .. just about everywhere. Kind of explains the duel between the human desire to be able to understand everything there is and that too in just one shot versus the helplessness felt in not having any damn clue of what it is all about. Such is life..

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Detachment

Kuchh afsos un lafzon ke liye hai jo keh na sake
Kuchh shiqwa un lafzon se hai jo keh diye
Apni nasamjhi se hi itne gile hain humko
Kisi aur se shiqaayat ab karein kaise

Kabhi kabhi tujh pe bhi pyaar aaya hai khuda
Jab kabhi khud mein kahin tujh ko dekha hai
Khud se mohabbat mein yun mashroof ho chuke hain
Kisi aur se mohabbat ab karein kaise

Friday, May 21, 2010

I love nonsense conversations

Conversation with friends F1 and F2.. not exactly verbatim

F1 and me (singing) : Kya kare zindagi, isko hum jo mile... iski jaan kha gaye raat din ke gile
F1: Ye gaana kitni saari situations mein itna fit hota hai..
F2: Kya matlab hai is gaane ka
F1: Our life has to suffer as a consequence of our doings.
me: Galti hum karte hain, bhugatna bechaari zindagi ko padta hai..
F2: I can't relate to it.. I can't separate me and my life..
me: Iska matlab tum aur tumhaari zindagi do jism ek jaan hain (followed by lots of laughter)

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Waqt rehta nahi kahin tik kar, iski aadat bhi aadmi si hai..

I had to make a decision. Two options. Confused. What to do? I tossed a coin. Heads or tails. I needed heads. I wanted heads. Nothing  else seemed right. I prayed for it. The coin was in the air. The heart was beating. Fast. It came down heads. Joyous me. Couldn't believe my luck. I tossed two more times. Best of three. Let's see. One more heads. I still win. Hurrah! The decision was made. In my favour. But wait! The story had another dimension. Time. It ruled out one option. How? In the meanwhile. When the coin game was being played. The decision was easy now. In fact it had already been made. Tails, it was. I haven't tossed a coin since then.

PS: Don't worry if you don't get it. I don't get it, either.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Arrogance

Zara sa tadpaaya to wo khafa ho baithe
Humein aaya kuchh alag sa maza us mein
Tumko hi har baar haq sataane ka kyun ho?

Qismat ne aata dekh humein band kiye darwaaze
Zara hichke par phir khidki se ghar mein ja dhamke
Kab milenge ye faisla har baar tumhaara kyun ho?

Khushi ko nazar lagaane ki koshish kar rahe the zamaane waale
Be-asar hoti dekh koshish hum itraane lage
Khuda mera bhala tum pe meherbaan kyun ho?

Rootha khuda humko aawaargi mein jhoomta dekh ke
Zara be-adbi thi, par ho ke bekhauf hum bhi poochh baithe
Duniya mein bas ek tum hi khuda kyun ho?

Aaj ka gyaan..

If you did not forget, but you forgot that you did not forget, then it is no better than having forgotten in the beginning.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Dil to pagal hai.. maanta hi nahi

Even though

- I have almost not been following cricket since the 2003 world cup and shouldn't really care now after so many years
- India has played pathetically in the tournament so far inspite of having a real solid team (at least the batting line-up)
- It feels ridiculous to have your chances depend on how the matches that you aren't even a part of, go
- The possibility that the whole tournament is fixed cannot be ruled out..

phir bhi mann kar raha hai that india defeats sri lanka with a big enough margin, australia defeats west indies, india qualifies for the semis and goes on to win the cup..

Dil to pagal hai, maanta hi nahi.