here are a few lines I wrote recently ... my first attempt at "so called poetry" .. and it is here unedited :)
Title : SNOW
There was a child
So innocent, so pure
Transparent like droplets of rain
Now he has grown
To be so serene, so calm
So composed, so correct
But, not transparent any more
The innocence, the purity are long gone
Or maybe not
Probably they still remain
The look is beautiful
Maybe more than ever
But it is all hidden behind that white cover
And yet that cover probably has to be there
For the world outside is too cold!!!
I didn't force you to read it :D ... however, now that you have read, please leave a comment.. Please note that I would consider it very very rude on your part to read this and not leave any comment!
:)
ReplyDeleteThank you Bhaiya for the very nice comment. I think I got the idea :)
ReplyDeletevery nice
ReplyDeletethanks .. it would be nice if you could write your name as well
ReplyDeleteOh ho, you mean that the snow is the grown up man ! ... I get it now ! Amazing. How do you come up with these brilliant things ?
ReplyDeletehaan ckd ji .. aap to samajh gaye .. dhanya ho gaya main!!
ReplyDeleteAs for the "coming up with these brilliant things" is concerned .. well sometimes the genius in me unfolds .. and then these things just surface on their own .. effortlessly :P .. pehli hai yaar .. thodi to daya karo :)
:)
ReplyDeletenice...try being a little less verbose, and keep unfolding your genius from time to time :)
ReplyDeletethe verbosity was probably due to the fear of not being clear enough ... but point taken :)
ReplyDeleteA very unique observation and comparison with snow. Kudos man!! Now I know, why people say u r very observant! :)
ReplyDeleteI think I can totaly FEEL your poem..
ReplyDeleteVery nicely written. I like it..
Now a days, whenever I want to say to someone that I can feel or understand what they are saying or feeling..I am a little apprehensive..as I realize, one can never ever totally feel the subjectivity of the person experiencing the experience..!!
And then one day,
ReplyDeleteSun shines.
@Amit
ReplyDeleteIt is less observation and more of externalizing internal feelings.
@Eternal Observationist
Mostly I am not that hard to understand. Even my blog would describe me pretty well :)
@Tapasya
Didn't look at this aspect at all.. seems this poem deserves a sequel :)